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5 Lessons About Hair (And Life) I Learned from My Hairstylist Mother

Krista Bennett DeMaio
May 8, 2020
Home Hair Tips Cut & Style 5 Lessons About Hair (And Life) I Learned from My Hairstylist Mother

My childhood pictures say a lot about me, or rather, my hair. While most of my friends kept the same long, blunt cut style for years, I’ve always had a look. There was the chin-hugging bob with bangs at age five (very Pulp Fiction), a mullet when I was seven (yup, it was the ‘80s), a spiral perm at 12, and even “The Rachel” at 17. From year to year, my hairstyles changed, sometimes dramatically. But adopting the style-of-the-moment wasn’t always my idea. My mother was a hairstylist. Growing up with a hairdresser mom taught me a lot and not just about hair. Watching her work and seeing her approach to her trade taught me some things about life in general.

Experiment often

As I mentioned above, my hair rarely stayed the same from appointment to appointment. I’ve lost count of all the times I’ve cut and grown out bangs. I’ll admit that now, as a busy mom of three, I’ve grown a little complacent with my hair experiments. So, when I get that not-so-subtle 12-week reminder from my hair salon (whoops!), I’ll start searching Instagram or Pinterest for new style inspiration to bring to my next appointment. The takeaway: Life is short; change up your hair. Cut the bangs. Make the chop. Add the layers. It all works. And if it doesn’t, it all grows back.

Throwback to prom with my mom!

Don’t color until you need to

I’m probably going to catch some heat from my colorist and balayage-loving friends for saying this. Trust me; I get it. Hair color is fun. My mom, a natural redhead, colored her strands to keep them vibrant with age, but she always told me to hold off until I had a reason to hit the salon. Of course, I didn’t heed her advice in high school and came home with stoplight red hair from a box. I also saved all my after school job money for a head full of bad cap highlights. But my mother had a point: Dyeing your hair can be damaging, and once you start, it’s hard to stop. In my late 20s, despite having access to some of the top colorists in the world (thanks to my job as a beauty editor), I decided to embrace my natural hue (chestnut brown) until I had grays to cover. Considering I’ve recently spied my first silver strand, it’s game on real soon.

Always have a side hustle

My mom eventually left the salon scene to be home with her family, but she continued to cut hair for neighbors and friends in my kitchen, earning herself some extra pocket money. And when my father passed away unexpectedly when I was just six (my brother, eight), her little side gig helped to keep us all afloat. The lesson that stuck with me: hustle. As a tween and teen, I delivered newspapers, babysat, and worked at a local bagel store and a doctor’s office. Now as a freelance writer, my goal is to always have multiple streams of income. If one dries up (and they always do), I have other means to rely on.

Put your best hair forward

I worked alongside my mom at a doctor’s office for several summers. Every evening after we clocked out, she would comb her hair, spritz some hairspray, and put on lipstick. I was ready to throw my hair into a messy bun and call it a day, and she was getting coiffed all over again!? My mom still doesn’t go anywhere without “freshening up.” She’s always polished whether she’s going out to dinner or hitting the grocery store. When I’m about to run errands looking like I’ve crawled out of a cave, I can hear her voice in my head telling me to at least pull my hair into a chic ponytail and apply some lip gloss.

Old-school hair tricks can be awesome

A prom updo from my mom was truly a work of art. It took hours, and had multiple steps, including pin curls and a cool trick that involved pulling it all in tighter with a bandana. Those curly updos would’ve lasted for days if I didn’t take out all 857 hair pins as soon as I got home. Mom had some serious hair hacks. And while it’s literally my job to find new beauty tips, there’s something to be said about the retro tips I’ve gleaned from her over the years, including:

  • Gently backcomb your crown to create lift that doesn’t look teased or stiff
  • For the perfect side hair part, line it up with the iris of your eye
  • Despite all the fancy wands out there, hot rollers are the real secret to big, soft waves
  • Spray hairspray six-to-eight inches from your head to avoid a shellacked look
  • Speaking of hairspray, use a flexible one not only for hold, but also to add texture and volume; spritz and tousle

Beauty has literally shaped my life. I owe everything—from those ever-changing hairstyles to my career as a beauty editor/writer—to my mom’s trade. She taught me the value of a dollar and a good hairbrush. I may not have inherited her fiery red strands, but I did get her fierce determination and love of all things hair.

 

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Comments

  1. This is great i am going through it all with my 13 yr old daughter right NOW.you hit the nail on the head. I just hope my daughter feels the same way and has your skill and determination one day!

  2. I too had a mom that was a hair stYlist. All you say is true. Those lessons are more valuable than anything you learn at school. The are really life solutions that work and keep you going iN spite of everything ARound you. I grew up and became a hair stylist too. And now i run a cosmetology schools because i want to give all those young Adults the opportunity to have What i had, a career where it matters what you dId. To make people feel beautiful is a very powerful thing.i have a high school education but i am a campus president And i owe it all to the education you get standing behind the chair is more like a PHD, “profEssional Hair dresser”Thanks for the walk down memory lane

  3. Rhonda DeGrafft

    My daughter who just turned 18, was born a bald baby and then when her hair dis start to grow she was what we call a toe-head. Ever since she wanted to color her hair as her friends were all doing , I knew she would eventually. However, since she has started to color her haur shes never gone back to her natural beautiful light blond she had the hair all girls even women (me) wanted! I don’t think we will ever see her beautiful wavy blond hair again. I do like her many different colors and to be honest, there hasnt been one that I thought looked bad on her! Shes lucky! She doesn’t realize just how lucky. I myself HAve decided that Im going to cut my hair. I want a blunt cut and maybe some bangs. Im getting older and according to my kids I pretty much have 1 foot in the ground already! Precious aren’t they? Love you guys! Thx for the vote of support.

  4. These tips are awesome. I hope I get my mom into doing these. My hair reckless as ever, could now be better I guess.
    Hair UPdo has always been a problem to me.lastly, I’m like any teenager,wanted to dye my hair,but now I decided not after reading this blog.

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